The Events Industry Gave Me More Than My Career — It Gave Me the Permission to Be Myself is a contributed article from Don Pietranczyk, CEM, CX Director, Informa
That title may sound a little dramatic, but it’s the truth. Here’s the way it went down.
Like a lot of members of the LGBTQIA+ community, I went through a series of comings out. What does that mean? Don’t you just come out once? Yes and no. For some, it’s a series. Mine read like this:
- Come out to self
- Come out to friends
- Come out to family
- Come out to work/colleagues
Again, that was my experience; others will vary. So, in 1993 when I started my first fulltime corporate job, I was at step #3, knowing #4 was on the horizon. I remember it all very clearly.
It was June in Chicago, and the company hosted an annual private (company-only) boat ride on the river and lake in the city. The boat was filled with colleagues, music, food and drink. It was one of the first events I attended as a new employee, and it was awesome! I even remember what I wore: a Seersucker blazer and vest with a white shirt, pants and shoes. I mean, it was boat ride in the summer — ya gotta go festive.
I was standing with the friend that introduced me to the company and whom I’d known since childhood, so she knew the tea on me (because of step #2). She introduced me to some colleagues and as we were talking, drinking and getting to know each other one of them said, quite innocently, “Don, you’re gay, what do you think?”
The expression on my face must have said it all. Someone who caught on rescued me and redirected the conversation. It was at that moment that I knew two things: I needed to officially come out to avoid any unnecessary uncomfortable future moments (if only for myself) and I would be safe to do so at the company. There were many openly gay men and women there so I knew it wouldn’t be an issue at all.
That moment, that experience allowed me to exhale, and from then on also removed any worry I might have had about being out at work. That allowed me to bring my full self to work, which allowed me to focus fully on the job at hand versus worry about what anyone might say or think. The experience also reinforced the importance of having allies in the workplace.
The freedom of being my true, authentic self was — and still is — priceless. It gave me such great confidence. It was during that time I joined Meeting Planners International (MPI).
Because I went to my first conference alone, I had a lot of networking to do once I was there. During one conversation I was asked, “Are you going to the friend of Dorothy cocktail party?”
I remember replying, “I don’t know anyone named Dorothy.” It just hadn’t dawned on me what the person was really asking at the time. So naïve. By the way, for those not in the know, asking someone, “Are you a friend of Dorothy” or any iteration was code in the 60s for asking someone if they were gay without using “the word.”
Since it was a work event, I was focused on work versus anything else, so it didn’t click. But once the confusion was cleaned up, I did in fact attend that cocktail event and found an entire group of industry professionals gathered. It was an event within an event, and I was SO excited to know SO many people in the industry were either gay or an ally. Being in that space and seeing how big the community was made me feel happy, proud and safe.
I drew from those experiences and used them as fuel as I built my career. Since then, I have always been openly gay in my work life and have made sure I have made myself visible to those who might be in various stages of their own journey and who might want to reach out and connect. I’ve done this a few ways.
At Informa, I co-founded the Rainbow CRN years ago. We do great work with colleagues to create a sense of community. We also educate colleagues as well as participate in acts of service to support the community.
Also, at Informa, I took the page from the MPI playbook and built my own “friend of Dorothy” cocktail party onsite at the fashion events called The Rainbow Connection. It has been well received and I’m very proud of that project.
In addition, this work has provided me with the opportunity to share my experiences and point of view on this topic to the wider industry. Doing this gives me great joy because knowing that the industry expresses interest in the LGBTQIA+ community and how to incorporate best practices into it fills me with pride. I’m proud to be part of an industry that invites, includes and accepts. I’m proud to be part of an industry that is interested in knowing more in order to do more.
And most importantly, I’m proud to be part of an industry that has given me a successful career for just being myself.
